Sunday, May 8, 2016

Big Deal


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Some weekends are just a big deal.  Everybody seems to have something big we get to do.  And this weekend was very much one of those..plus a little side of Mother's Day!

And that was my big deal....

 Yes, seeing Drew play his first t-ball game was a big deal..

.seeing my girls dance on stage was such a sweet privilege .. a pretty big deal.

But having felt loved by all my family was the best deal..especially by the guy who runs this family with me.  Not all Mother's Days go very well...unmet expectations...nothing going my way.

This day was simple...but pretty close to perfect.  Pete and I laughed a lot and he made it special to the very end.. nothing big..just a few walks, a bike ride and feeling like he really does know me after 20 years of being married..and 14 of being a mama.

That's what felt special. I love being a mom and thank God for the grace I have been given by being their mama!!

Friday, May 6, 2016

Can't End There


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I can't leave you hanging thinking I may still be crying.  I am recovered and moving on..until the next valley, I will be enjoying the peaks.

With 25 days left to throw rocks, run in the driving rain and wind, walk through Totem Park, talk to Jane on the Cross Trial, watch Pete fly fish, enjoy the immense pleasure of sun in the sky after many many days without it, drive on gravel, watch concerts and dance recitals, sit at the muddy baseball fields, pass people all day in my car and wave at more than half of them..sometimes several times a day, eat with friends at the Channel Club, have people take my kids camping, watching boats leave the harbor every morning while I am running, hearing float planes take off outside my door, see fresh snow on Verstovia even though we are in May, shop at the grocery store with the best view in the world, sit at the beach any afternoon that we can, walking into town...
It's all good.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

The Big Picture



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Yesterday I cried just about all day.  I was a huge wreck.  It was Sunday.  We were all together.  We had a lot to get done.  I was weeping through most of it.  And I must admit to being like that all weekend.
We  moved into the 3rd of 3 rentals before we depart Sitka June 1.  The last house was probably the worst place I have ever lived in.  Actually...there is no proabably..IT WAS THE WORST PLACE EVER!  Size was not the issue,  It had the right amount of square footage...but the whole place was just SAD!  It made me sad.  It made all of us sad.
I will say that April has been probably the worst month in a long time..for all of us.  My older girls are struggling and their hearts are being hurt by this whole moving situation and I struggle with a hurt heart for them.  Middle school is a hard age...kids not being invited to parties from kids we considered good friends..all of a sudden.  It all hurts.  I did not expect some of this.  So it can knock you down a little...
And you have to go back and look at the big picture.  We came with 8 of us and we will leave with 8 of us.  We have each other.  We have not had much other family for 3 years and we tried to make up for that loss of family with friends..the Coast Guard is a small community that has often felt like family...but this time things have been different and we just need to adjust.
We all do the best we can..that is what I tell myself and my kids.  When they feel heart broken over feeling like their friends have already forgotten them..I try and reassure us both that we all are doing the best we can...
And then I remind myself that I must always try and do my best for them too...
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