Monday, December 14, 2015

Sorry Carrie It Took So Long....


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Outside:
It is 3:00.  Pretty much dark...not pitch black dark, but definitely getting close.  It was very cold over the weekend with ice everywhere, but not much snow.  My kids still managed to eat handfuls and have their hands freezing within minutes of stepping outside.

I have a fresh garland hanging over my front door this year with white lights and I love it.  I'm not much of an outside decorator...but I do love lights on the outside and I appreciate other people who do it.

It would be awesome to have a cold Christmas break this year.  Then we would have snow and not just rain.  Which makes it brighter and putting the extra work aside...way more fun to be out in.

We have not been outside much in a few months.  The kids have been so busy and it getting dark by 3:30 makes it hard to be out after school.

And just for the record...I am NOT complaining...I am recording.  This is it for our Alaska Christmas/Winter.  I will love every minute.


What I Am Reading:
I have mostly been listening to books this fall.  The last one I finished was The End of the Affair by Graham Green.  It was good.  Not the best book to run to at 5:00 am...but I did enjoy it.

I also listened to Fahrenheit 451,  Seven Men and Seven Woman by Eric Metaxas, Bradstreet Gate by Robin Kirman, Everything that Rises Must Converge by Flannery O'Connor....

But I have a new obsession when it comes to listening while running, Catholic Stuff You Should Know and This American Life podcast.

What I Am Making:

I knit a sweater with Brooklyn Tweed yarn.  It took me awhile to finish and I do love it.  I wish I knit the sleeves a little longer.  I have knit several hats...that have been promptly lost.

I have been making people $$ at all the bake sales I have been asked to do.  I built a lemonade stand this summer and it has been well traveled around town.  I have made $800-$1700 for the organizations that were raising money.  I love doing them...but after the weekend is over I am usually like...that is the last one I am doing...

I have also been a bit obsessed with making iced sugar cookies.  And like everything else I get obsessed with I instantly create a future for myself doing that particular "craft".  So in my mind I have been the owner of: a yarn store that sells my own died yarn, a pie shop, a rustic furniture store with my own crafted rustic stuff, and now a Sugar Cookie Shop...

And the reality of my life sets in....

What I Know; 

My house is for sale and that is all together stressful, sad and exciting at the same time.

My oldest daughter is so sad about leaving...as we all are, but she is especially sad.  My poor girl.

I love my Christmas tree this year.  I got it at an vintage pop up shop in town and I am so in love with my vintage Christmas tree...and I put white lights on it.

Monday, November 9, 2015

The Last Little Bit


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I used to have so much to say here in this space.  I would compose blog posts while I ran, while I  showered.  Pretty much all the time I was thinking about writing something.  But lately, like the last 3 years, I have had very little to say.  I still love the idea of sharing a glimpse of my life...I just am not sure what is worth sharing anymore.


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I hate to say that I have been so busy it has been hard for me to find the time to write here...because I always hate hearing how people are "so busy" they do not have the time...I have plenty of time I spend doing LOTS of other things.  But I just don't seem to find myself in front of this screen often.

And right now with so many growing people around me I am VERY aware of the things I am doing they are VERY much observing.  I don't like them spending much time in front of screens.  So I try to set an example.  So there.  That is a little bit of what has been going on.

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I have been VERY busy setting an example.  And sometimes I realize I am doing a horrible job...or maybe I should see it as showing an example of how NOT to behave.  Since my kids are in school and away from me the majority of the day I have to be even more tuned in when I do get to be with them.

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And lately my brain is filled with doing and saying the right thing in this house..to these people.  I wish I had some wisdom to share here.  The only wisdom I have to share is ...boy, being a mama is the most heartbreaking wonderful thing I will ever get to do.  But I think us mama's all get that.  That's not news to anyone...but some days I am OVERWHELMED with gratitude that I get to do this.

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I am starting the wrap up process over here.  There was a small window when we thought we would get to stay here in Sitka for 2 more years.  That was pretty exciting for us to think about not having to move..staying in one place for 5 years.  In this place.  But the window closed for us, but opened for someone else.  We are grateful to have been brought back here.  But it is time to start the whole leaving process and I kind of love/fear/loath this part.

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The do-er in me loves to get things done, paint walls, move furniture, get rid of things....make things happen.  I put a lot of work into selling our house and it can be fun when you get into making it all come together and somebody else likes it enough to buy it.

But my poor family.  They have to live with me literally cleaning up under them ...
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So..if anyone is in the market for a super cute house in Southeast Alaska..please let me know.  I would love to check that off my list.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Teens And God



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When I set out to have kids never did I imagine I would have 6.  My faith was not a big part of my life in the beginning of my parenting journey.  And now I can't imagine doing one without having the other.

I was pretty late to the game when it came to relationship with God.  And I would still consider myself a freshman in faith.  And to think of where I was when I was a teen, I could only use the word...inconvenienced.  Me being Catholic was a major damper when it came to my young self.  I HAD to go to CCD...mass occasionally...that was it.  And that was enough to be burdened by God at that age.

I was so removed that I did not even realize I was removed.

But now I have teens...and my hope is they don't have the same detachment that I did.   I very much want them to be attached . But the truth is...they may not be.  They will question, and deny and turn away.  We all do.  They will to.  Jesus had people turn away right in front of him.  I will not be more persuasive than Him...I am sure of that.

I will do things differently then some...and other ways may be better...but my greatest prayer is that each of them will love God and rely on him and have Him be part of their life.  I know faith does not make things easier..or better...or more fun in a teens mind.  But I HOPE they will find it was worth it.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Time Is Flying By


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My goodness...it seems like I just pushed play on school and now we are in October.  September was FILLED with so much that I actual feel a breeze whip by my face just thinking over it.

I have gained so much clarity over the last 2 months and I seem to have gotten a good perspective over some of the struggles I have had the last 2 years here.  It is all part of God's plan.  I often have wondered why we got moved here and really scratched my head wondering.

But through our weakness and mistakes we are made stronger and better.  I am nowhere talented enough to express in words the way the Lord has been working in my life but I have been given a season of consolation and I am feeling very grateful and somewhat unworthy at the moment.  I think the hardest thing sometimes with our relationship with God and our faith is the ability to forgive ourselves.  It can be much easier to forgive someone else for a hurt or mistake...but actually letting yourself off the hook is much harder.

I have to forgive myself in order to move on and I am working on that.  I am not perfect...but that is what is so perfect ...I don't have to be.  God calls and loves us in our imperfection.  He knows we will fail..over and over again.  But there is His grace.  And actually being open to that grace is what will lead us to forgive ourselves the way He has.

We are entering the Year of Mercy.  And my goal is to be merciful to myself...and only then can I share that mercy with others.  And the one thing I learn OVER and OVER again is we all need forgiveness, mercy, and a heart of gratitude.

And on this sunny day here in Sitka..I am BURSTING with gratitude for so many things.  Especially the grace I have been given to realize what a gift this feeling is...it does not last...

Those 6 kids up there...I made those kids...each one of them were a gift from God and some days I forget that.  I forget that when I loose my patience and feel burdened by their needs.  Those are the days I am not asking for God's help..those are the days I think I can do this alone.  I can not...not even for 1 minute can I do this without Him.

NONE of us can.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Yarn Girls

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I have been pretty obsessed lately with knitting.  I go through phases with how much I knit.  This time I feel like I am more involved then ever.  I wrote Ginny an email and had to erase half of it because I felt like it was a bit dramatic the way I was describing my feelings on knitting...maybe not info I need to share if I want people to think I have not lost my mind.  It is just wool, sticks and loops after all.  

For now I have landed on making HATS...a lot of hats.  The 100 Stitch Slouch has been my pattern of choice.  I have made several hats using the white, black and yellow color combo.  I can't stop myself.  I have lots of Tosh yarn so I have been using that up.  I love the stitch definition Tosh yarn has...especially  with hats.

And of course my very favorite thing to knit for my girls is the Sunday Sweater from Ginny.  I am eagerly awaiting my new yarn for this year's new sweater....

I am not sure if anything makes me happier than seeing them march off to school with hand knits on...I'm serious.  I get a little too excited if you ask them.  I pretty much follow them around with my camera.
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