Monday, May 12, 2014
Seeking His Grace
The other night I had a moment when I got so angry at one of my children. I was boiling mad. I went from content to outraged in a FLASH of a moment. I did not expect that particular interaction at that moment. I was truly caught off guard. In the grand scheme of life this was not that big of a deal. Just a 12 year old being a 12 year old and doing something without thinking about it. I about lost my mind.
The whole event left me feeling disappointed in myself. Why can't I keep my cool when caught off guard? Why is so difficult for me to speak with love and correction and not let the anger take over?
I deeply want to train and correct with love. My biggest struggle is to stay in a place of love, not anger when they do something that needs correcting. If I expect change instantly from them, then I need to change instantly myself. God, give me grace.
And that is where I am at right now...seeking His grace with each of my interactions with these kids. I spent the whole next day, after the explosively mad incident with 12 year old, praying throughout the day to be prepared to deal with anger the next time it comes my way. Before I needed the grace I was begging for it...
It helped...but I have a long way to go.
I texted a friend whom I respect very much. A mother of 10 whom always leads me in the right direction...
Among the wonderful words she shared with me to lift me up she said she reads this little booklet called "Conformity to the Will of God" to give her encouragement. I ordered it instantly!!!
Today I received it...opened the first page of this little powerhouse booklet and read the first line....
"Nothing happens in this world but by the direction or permission of God."
Ok... what a comfort that one little line was. I want to absorb that one sentence into my mind and replay those words in the moments right before the anger creeps its way in.
NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS WORLD BUT BY THE DIRECTION OR PERMISSION OF GOD!!!
Happy late Mother's Day to all the moms out there who rock being a mama and a special prayer for the ones waiting their turn...God Bless us all!!