Friday, May 23, 2014

My Greatest Hope

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I hope he wants to hold my hand when we are old and gray...

If he reaches for my hand when we are done being mama and daddy to little kids, then I have accomplished something....

Friday, May 16, 2014

She's So Pretty

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I rarely get up to the base anymore.  I often times forget just how awesome that H-60 is.  When you stand next to it...it feels so...big!

I see it fly up in these skies most everyday.  I glance up and take note but it never really hits me until I am up close how very cool it is that Pete flies helicopters!

Today the sky was so blue.  The air so perfect.  And Pete and Jack so excited to be taking this trip together.  Not one little thought of anything but pure excitement went through my head.  To get to be part of this life, with these people, at this moment..it feels so good.  To know that each of these kids is a true and amazing gift from God and to treasure them as a gift...it makes me feel so very lucky to get to do this everyday.

And looking at these pictures reminds me what Pete does everyday.  Very blessed indeed!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Abandon Yourself Wholly...

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Jack and Pete are about to go on a great adventure...Alaska style.  They are taking a float plane to a lake where there is a cabin and they are staying for 4 days to fly fish and camp.  What a way to celebrate a boy's 8th birthday.  Don't tell the girls that their 8th birthday did not include a chartered airplane to a remote location.

Chartering the float plane probably sounds pretty exotic....it is fairly common up here.  We live on an island pretty far from anywhere else...planes are a very real way to get around here.  Pretty cool.

And I must shamefully admit to having a few minutes of jealousy during the preparation yesterday.  I am so excited for the boys and realize the amazing opportunity they are getting.  But that annoying little voice crept in..."what about me???".

I hate those 3 words.  Hate. Them.

I avoided them, but they were there...

And then this....

"Abandon yourself wholly to God's will and be assured that He, who is all wise and loving, will make all things work together for your good, incomparably beyond what you yourself could desire."  

pg. 13 Conformity to the Will of God

I can do that...I can wait on Him to work things out for my good...beyond my desire.

And while I wait...I will so joyfully see my boys off tomorrow as they board their plane and go on an adventure far beyond what Pete would have dreamed of .





Monday, May 12, 2014

Seeking His Grace

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The other night I had a moment when I got so angry at one of my children.  I was boiling mad.  I went from content to outraged in a FLASH of a moment.  I did not expect that particular interaction at that moment.  I was truly caught off guard.  In the grand scheme of life this was not that big of a deal.  Just a 12 year old being a 12 year old and doing something without thinking about it.  I about lost my mind.

The whole event left me feeling disappointed in myself.  Why can't I keep my cool when caught off guard?  Why is so difficult for me to speak with love and correction and not let the anger take over?

I deeply want to train and correct with love.  My biggest struggle is to stay in a place of love, not anger when they do something that needs correcting.  If I expect change instantly from them, then I need to change instantly myself.  God, give me grace.

And that is where I am at right now...seeking His grace with each of my interactions with these kids.  I spent the whole next day, after the explosively mad incident with 12 year old, praying throughout the day to be prepared to deal with anger the next time it comes my way.  Before I needed the grace I was begging for it...

It helped...but I have a long way to go.

I texted a friend whom I respect very much.  A mother of 10 whom always leads me in the right direction...

Among the wonderful words she shared with me to lift me up she said she reads this little booklet called "Conformity to the Will of God" to give her encouragement. I ordered it instantly!!!

Today I received it...opened the first page of this little powerhouse booklet and read the first line....

"Nothing happens in this world but by the direction or permission of God."

Ok... what a comfort that one little line was.  I want to absorb that one sentence into my mind and replay those words in the moments right before the anger creeps its way in.

NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS WORLD BUT BY THE DIRECTION OR PERMISSION OF GOD!!!

Amen.

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Happy late Mother's Day to all the moms out there who rock being a mama and a special prayer for the ones waiting their turn...God Bless us all!!
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