Wednesday, January 22, 2014

You Know You Live In Alaska When:

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1.  Your newly turned 5 year old daughter asks why she did not get a pocket knife for her birthday when it was on her list.

2.  You consider it a BEAUTIFUL day when you see a break in the clouds even if you never really saw the sun...you saw that it was possible.

3.  When searching for flights to the lower 48 for all 8  of you $5000 sounds reasonable.

4.  You refer to the 48 other states as the "lower 48".  Hawaii is always referred to as Hawaii and all Alaskans love to vacation there (see above $5000 as to why these Alaskans may never get there).

5.  Gaining 14 seconds of daylight is welcomed and noticed change in your day.

6.  A sale on Orange Juice means you pay $7.15 instead of $7.85...big difference.

7.  The local mayor runs on the platform of doing away with paved roads and just moving forward with gravel roads for all over town...and she WINS!!!

8.  When you walk into the Dr. office there is a sign that reminds people to leave all weapons in their cars.

9.  When you walk onto your front porch there is likely to be a bag of fish, fresh jelly, or smoked salmon waiting for you.

10.  People who don't know you stop to help you get your car unstuck in the snow.  And you happen to have been stuck a few times already.

I know I am lucky.  I laugh about it. I cry about it.  But ultimately I am so grateful to be a part of it.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

It's January...Need I Say More???


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I wish I could just unzip my mind and have all the words pour out.  There is a lot going on in my mind these days and I wish there was a place to dump it all....but I happen to know  a few people, ok....maybe 1 (hi Aunt Donna) that read this blog and they do not WANT or need to go through that.  So for now I will settle for getting a few things down so when I am passed this moment in time I can look back and feel .... something other than the way I feel now.

I feel like complaining...So I have been .  Like to everyone I see.  Why should I be different here?
It's January.  It has been raining for 40 days...I'm NOT JOKING!!  This is a rain forest and therefore IT IS RAINING!!

  We have been in doors A LOT and then this really awful cycle sets in.  Your in doors which makes you feel completely unmotivated to get outside.  And getting outside is kinda hard because of the gear you need to suit everyone up with which then you will have to wash once you get back in doors and then you decide just to stay in side because you are unmotivated to do anything that requires that much motivation...JUST TO GO OUTSIDE.

Did I know this coming here.  Umm. YES I DID!!  But I did not know how it would feel with 6 kids.  And just to clarify.  It. Is. Feeling. Hard.

So I have a talk with myself reminding myself that it would be hard in VA right now too...right??  I mean sometimes life is just ...hard!!  No matter the amount of rainfall...or darkness.

Priscilla is about to turn 5 and she is not really making things easy on me right now.  She is a fighter.  She receives love in a strange way.  She struggles to play nicely without some sort of tension.  She adores Lucy to the point of distraction.  She breaks my heart daily.  I try not to take it personal.  But I just want her to let us love her and let her feel it, let her enjoy fun and play with her sisters and brothers.

Drew just turned 2 which is all together wonderful and difficult.  I'm just gonna leave that there because the struggle I have there is nothing compared to the energy that goes into the older kids....so let me just remind myself of that...thanks

And now for me...probably the most difficult part of this troubling puzzle I am finding January to be.  Why can't I just see past the moments of difficulty.   Why can't I focus on the good that I know is there?  Why must I cry ?  Why must I need all to be well with everyone around me??  Why can't I just get focused on being focused?  Why can't I seem to Parent with the End in Mind right now?  Why are the moments feeling harder and harder??  I thought it was supposed to get easier the older they got?

I want to feel full of life and joy.  I want to feel like these are the happiest days of my life and I am trying to get there....but ...

There is a but...

And I hate that...

The but will not be there forever.  I know that.  There is a point to it all.  I'm sure of it.  Until I remember the point I will try to get outside.  I will try to get past January.  I will try to enjoy January.  I will try. Period!


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UPDATE:
Tonight:  Clear night...no rain.  We skipped Jack's wrestling practice, poured some wine, built a fire outside.  Kids were able to run around outside.  I sat, sipped, laughed and came away feeling a little less....
less!

All is well and will continue to get better.  I've been here before and I'm sure I'll be here again.....

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Words...Better Known As Virtues

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All day I have been thinking about the whole "word" for the year that seems to be sweeping the blogs I read.  I love this concept for so many reasons.  Last year when I found myself at a complete loss for how to proceed as a mom without being a home schooling mom I turned to words.

I focused on specific "words" or VIRTUES that I knew I wanted to cultivate in my kids no matter where they went to school. Choosing specific virtues, or words, kept my focus.

I am constantly turning back to this practice.  Just a few weeks ago Pete and I were feeling a bit frustrated with the state of affairs when it came to attitudes of specific people.  Whenever things are all going wrong at one time I usually stop and look at where I've gone wrong...

Not being hard on myself but just realizing that my behavior, habits, virtues usually need some tweaking if I'm loosing it with all members of my home.  Pete and I decided to each pick 1 virtue we knew WE ALL NEEDED to work on.  Pete choose Self-Reliance.  It was so perfect a virtue to focus on I almost cried.  He nailed it.  Most of us were waiting for someone else to do the hard work.  We were thinking of self in the complete wrong way, in the receiving way...not the serving way .  I choose Joy-fullness.  I don't think I need to paint to much of a picture as to why I choose this one.

And then we both decided we needed to demonstrate and focus on respect.  Each of these virtues, "words", play into each other in such a seamless way that when I was describing them to the kids I found myself using similar explanations for each.

And today as I have read blogs I am more struck than ever that so many "words" or Virtues are aimed at the same thing...SERVING.

So many words aim to serve others better.  When we are trying to find a way to grow we are usually led to deeper service.  And because of that I am so inspired by all the words each person has shared and the reasons they have chosen it.  I have a hard time choosing just one word.. I'm feeling most inspired to choose several.

But to tell you the truth...These ladies, Sarah, Jenny, and probably my favorite Erin have it down....

Happy New Year


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