Sunday, October 21, 2012
Laugh a Little
I had this friend a couple of years ago who made a huge impact on me. She was in my life for a brief period, but her impact was big. I have written about her before.
Things went off track with our friendship and I have thought about it many times. This friend wrote me a letter last year to try and clear the air. With all 9 of her kids she actually took the time to write me....
I never wrote her back. Not exactly the right move.
I have her letter still and I would rather just meet her for lunch than try to write back. We seem to have two different memories of how things ended for us. I am not sure if it matters really. I loved her then and still do now, regardless of details.
What does matter is the things I learned from her in the short time she was in my life.
She was super busy..even when we first became friends and she had 7 kids at the time, she had a lot going on. I would go over her house and just soak in how she ran her show...
She laughed a lot. She laughed with her kids. They would sometimes do things, as any kid can, that would be ...not what she wanted. She had a way of keeping her cool, laughing her way through the situation, and get things resolved. I was in awe.
I tend to NOT laugh...I tend to NOT keep my cool. I want to. I want to keep calm, use a lite note, solve the problem..move on to laugh over it later. It just seems to be less..messy. I am sure she would loose her cool sometimes...but even then I am sure she rebounded with humor. It was awesome!!
Even better than using humor with her kids...she used it with her husband!!
One weekend we got to escape for a few days to do some teacher planning together. It was a fun weekend that I will never forget. But one night we were eating dinner and her husband called her. I only heard one side of the conversation but I sensed he may have been sharing some complaints...she just teased him a little, laughed about his complaints and ended with a "love you." She hung up, smiled and went on guilt free. She was a cool cat!! I remembered thinking..I HAVE GOT TO DO THAT!!
I take things so personal. I can't laugh at things because I am truly PERSONALLY SAD over the slightest things....
....bad grade on a math test...I'm hurt
....kids not tripping over themselves to get to mass on Sunday...I'm PERSONALLY hurt
.... Pete coming home and wiping the kitchen counters....BROKEN HEART
....Him asking me when I will be home when I am out...Guilt ridden heart break...
No laughter, no sweet teasing to diffuse the situation. I want to do that!! I want to feel that. I need to have a thicker skin...a more sensitive funny bone.
I wonder if more kids adds more humor. I wonder if things just get easier to laugh at when you are really in so deep all you can do is laugh??
I miss my friend. I miss her example. I am a better person for getting the chance to be her friend.
I try..I want to laugh easier. As my kids get older I see the beauty of finding the humor and joy in all that comes with being their mom.
Here's to a week full of laughter...