Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Woman I Dream To Be


This is my great grandmother pictured above with her 8 boys and 2 girls.  My grandmother being one of her girls. I never met my great grandmother but I grew up knowing how much my Uncles and Aunts adored her.  My mom would always tell us about her mother's mother and I grew up aware of the great love my mom had for her.
My Uncle Charlie was the baby of the family.  He was lucky #10.  He was adored by all..even great nieces and nephews as we grew up.  He died last week and has left but only 1 brother still here.  Both girls and now 7 of the boys have gone to be with their mama and daddy.  My heart breaks for my Uncle Charlie but I know he is happy now.  How happy my great grandmother must be to have almost all her kids back with her.



To think about such a legacy is amazing.  They were such a happy family and my uncles grew up to be very close.  I remember family parties with them all laughing and joking around.  Most of them married women who were friends growing up so even the wives were close.  My Aunt Ann married one of my Uncles friends...and such as it was for this family...this big Catholic family...
..and oh how many cousins came from these great brothers and sisters.

That is what I got to grow up with .  My moms many many cousins.  I loved belonging to a family so big even if it was in a distant way.  I knew I wanted a small piece of that for my own family.
Before I even realized it I wanted to be like my great grandmother.  I wanted to have a big loving family and have so many people surrounding me. I wanted to be remembered for laughing and enjoying each moment.  I wanted to be like her even if I never met her.  I knew her from what she left behind.  I knew the person she was from the people she created.
 My mom loved her so much and I have always wanted to make my mom happy.  So trying to be like her grandma might help...
 It is hard watching all her kids go..one by one.  I never even met a few of them.  But my mom loved each one and she misses them dearly.

 It is so strange to think, as I have a new baby in my arms, that these little ones will someday be fare welling each other.  I will not always be with them .  Life keeps moving ahead and eventually it is over.  Having these thoughts are not morbid or depressing...just real...very real.  What matters??

 Who we live with...who we are..that is who they become.  I want them to become so much.  I have to be so much.  I have to keep dreaming about becoming this amazing mom like my great grandmother was. 

My future is very linked to my past.  A past I was never a part of.  It is what happens in a family.  She never knew her life would inspire mine...but it has. 

So here's a prayer for my Uncle Charlie who is now where he should be....
And an extra prayer for me to become the woman she was....(and maybe get a little closer to the #10)

6 comments:

  1. So sorry for the loss of your uncle...Peace be with you...

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  2. What a beautiful testimony to your great grandmother. I'm sure she would be honored. :)

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  3. What a beautiful post - you brought tears to my eyes. I just lost my great-grandmother and reading this post really helps give me hope that her legacy can continue on with my children. Thank you for sharing.

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  4. Sorry for your loss.
    What gorgeous pictures!! I would agree, your great grandmother is an inspiration.

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  5. Family is so important; you have a wonderful family to turn to for inspiration! Sorry for the loss of your uncle but glad that your family has such deep love for each other. Very beautiful words!

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