Sunday, March 25, 2012

I Can Kinda Be...

Sensitive sometimes.  I get my feelings hurt over silly things.  I let things bother me WAY more than they should.  I know this about myself so I am CONSTANTLY saying, "Self..get over yourself!" In what ways am I sensitive, you ask??  Let me count the ways...

If I e-mail someone and they take a few days to get back to me...feelings may be hurt.  And before I go on I must say that there are PLENTY of times that I have not responded immediately and I never think someone may be hurt by this...I think they must understand that I don't mean to hurt feelings...I just did not get back to them YET.  Why can't I use this reasoning with myself??  Good question....I try and sometimes it works and sometimes...I am hurt...silly me. 

 As I have moved several times and tried to make friends wherever I go I have come to know a fact that is not that fun to realize...not everybody will like me.  Can you imagine??  Not everybody will want to be my friend.  Shocking..I know!!

I guess the older people get they have a harder time masking the fact that they don't like you...either that or I am just more humble as time goes on to know that NOT EVERYBODY will like me.

What brings all this up??

We were all outside this afternoon and my neighbors driveway was filling up and ladies were getting out.  Emily said she thought it looked like Ms. Sheila was having a neighborhood party for the moms.  I thought..silly Emily...if she was having a neighborhood party then she would have invited me.  But as we stood out on the driveway I began to see some women from the neighborhood walk over and ring her door.  OK..silly me.  Maybe she is having a party and NOT inviting me...hello pride prepare to be swallowed...
One of the neighbors came over to chat and said that Ms. Sheila put a flyer in every mailbox. Not mine!!  I actually went over to the party anyway.  The neighbor who was standing with me dragged me over there saying..."She must have invited you and you did not see the bright red flyer in your mailbox!" And for full disclosure: us loosing mail with so many helpers getting the mail is not a far fetched I thought I did not want to look like the snobby neighbor NOT coming to her party.
But as I walk in she looks at me and says, "Oh, hi Lisa! I meant to invite you but I kept forgetting.  I am glad you came!"  I guess she thought putting a flyer in MY mailbox would be to..forward??? And I might want a personal invite since I see her 55 times a day because my little kids LIVE out on the front driveway and we say hi EACH TIME we see each other!!  It must have slipped her mind EACH time I saw her..even today as she was welcoming people in her front door while we were standing out TALKING to the other guests....

 Am I hurt by this?? Sadly I must confess...kinda.  I am !  I don't want to be.  My girls were sad for me.  They felt bad that mama did not get invited.  I felt bad that they felt bad.  I was kinda embarrassed in front of the neighbors that were there and REALLY invited. 
I won't give this much thought after this.  I think the reason why this stung a little was recently I was NOT invited to another party that lots of the other home school moms were invited ALL of them...or so it seemed to me.  And why should this bother me??  I am trying to not let it.  I know not everyone has to like everyone and people usually do not seek to hurt others.  I am sure my actions have been the source of other people's hurts as well.  We all do this.  I know..I know.

 Most of the time I can not go to these events anyway.  Why must I feel that I need to be invited then?  I guess that little middle schooler comes out in me and I want to be included. 

I stayed next door for about 15 minutes.  I wanted to leave really bad.  While she was explaining to me, in front of EVERYONE, the whole I was going to invite you but didn't business, I was terrified that I may actually be getting red in the face and a tear might escape from the lump that was looming beneath the surface...but a tear did not escape and all was well in the end.

No will go on.  I will continue to say hi 55 times a day to my neighbor. 


  1. "I will continue to say hi 55 times a day to my neighbor." Good for you!
    This does hurt and you have a very valid reason for feeling like you do. Don't discount the wrong that was committed, but it is so good you are able to rise above. For me that's the hardest thing! I want to run in the other direction and never acknowledge that person's presence EVER again, but I know that's not right either.

    I hope you find some true friends who love you just the way you are!

  2. You're such a sweetheart. I so admire your open, enthusiastic, friendly manner. I have trouble making myself that vulnerable sometimes. I'm so sorry you were hurt. Don't let it break your beautiful spirit!

  3. I feel and think just the same way. And if you ever move near me, I'd love to be your friend! I think we'd get along great!

  4. I know how you feel Lisa. We've all been there. It was wrong of your neighbor, but it's so big of you to move on and not dwell on it. It's not worth another thought.

  5. I have been there and I know how badly it hurts. But we hold our heads high, turn around, and walk home- a place that is full of people that would never have a party without us; people that love us and want nothing more than to have our attention for just a moment. God has given you everything you need; and they're all under YOUR roof- not your neighbor's. And if I was your neighbor, we would sit on the lawn, have a cup of coffee, and a good laugh- all while waving to the women across the street:) Keep your head up, girl- you have something she doesn't have- integrity.

  6. You'd be top of my list, Lisa! A few months ago, a 'friend' of mine was having her new twin girls baptised which happened to be a week after our daughters baptism...we knew about all this because our children were all having the same godmother, needless to say, we mailed an invite to her and her family. They declined, and we were not invited to her girls' baptism. It hurt, I moved forward, but I feel your pain.

  7. There will always be people who hurt us, but the older you get, the easier it is to forgive, and move on. Know that you are loved and appreciated by the people who really count.

  8. I would have been hurt, too, I would have turned red, tried not to cry. I think you did and are doing the right thing, and I'm sorry you were hurt. Something I really struggle with is people talking about their plans with our mutual friends ... and I'm not part of the plans. I try to just smile, nod, pretend I don't notice I'm not included. Honestly, it hurts me less than it used to; we have 4 little ones, and our life is less spontaneous than a lot of our friends. But I still hate feeling left out.

  9. Bless your are so right to move forward...and try not to feel hurt...and always remember that Jesus loves you...he's your friend...Peace be with you...

  10. I think everyone has felt like how you felt one time or another....We went to a church for 6 years and for the first two years we went every week and no one ever spoke to us. I had many talks with my daughters about why people are rude ect... I feel very sorry for your daughters to have to see adults act like that.

    My best friend is my husband....I am a very friendly person I just don't seek out friends...I let God pick my and he always does a great job.

    I would still be nice to that neighbor but I would not go out of my way to be her friend. You are a better person and I don't think you need a friend like her....that is if you would ask

    I hope you are able to put that day behind you and enjoy your beautiful family....that is all that matters you have wonderful people loving you....


  11. So funny that I stumbled upon this today. I recently discovered that I was not invited to a baby shower & a bachelorette party of two different people that are in my friend circle {& EVERYBODY else was invited to} For some reason, I could not just blow it off...I truly felt like I was 13 again. My head knows there were probably reasonable reasons I wasn't invited {lost touch, keeping numbers down, etc} it still just stings a little. Especially since I feel like I was literally the only one not invited. I'm just glad to know I'm not the only sensitive one out there. I'm so sorry for the way you were hurt. I pray that God gives you the grace to continue being genuinely friendly & to forgive. It truly was their loss not to invite you.

  12. Aw, I would have felt the same way, and not so successfully held back the tear in front of everyone!
    I wish we lived closer. Every time I read your blog, I think "I'd bet we'd be friends!".
    At least I like to think so. :-)
    I think the middle-schooler comes out in all of us. Human nature. But I agree, good for you for resolving to still say hi, etc.

  13. Can you come over?? We miss you! Joy declared to everyone today that you and the kids were coming over.

  14. I think you set such a good example for your children. I'm so sorry you were hurt. I've been publicly hurt as probably everyone has. It's hard to hold your head up, but years later you'll be so glad that you handled it so well. The hurt will fade but knowing you did the right thing never will. You have a beautiful heart to share with your neighbor and I'm sure you've impacted her through your positive example.

  15. I have the same sensitivity issue and it is SO hard to do what you did! Every other family in our homeschool co-op belongs to the same parish, except us. The parish is small and they do things together all the time. I feel such an outsider at the co-op and the only reason I keep going is so the kids can play. It is hard to walk in there every week.

  16. Good for you. It is so hard isn't it? I just wrote and rewrote all about my latest experience. You don't need to hear it really. Suffice it to say, military wives plus Facebook can definitely bring feelings of hurt to the forefront.

  17. I feel ya friend!! You would be on the top of my list too, I could use a little Lisa in my life these days :) Maybe I'll jump on a plane and pay a visit ;)
    Miss and love ya!!

  18. Are we related??? :) As I read your post I thought, 'I'd feel the same way'. In fact I've been in similar situations and thought the same thing. We all want to be liked. It's hard for me even now to think why someone wouldn't like me if I did everything I could to be nice to them. I guess that's just life. I've learned (after much heartache). That my best friends are my husband and daughters. I'm so sorry you were hurt.

  19. Hi I just found your blog from Ravelry and I love you! I normally skim blogs but I'm here reading every a good novel! I totally get this post and understand your feelings. You did an amazing job of handling yourself too. You've got class.