Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Little House Guide To Meeting People

Somebody asked me a questions about meeting people.  They left a comment wanting to know some tips from an extrovert on how to meet people.

I am super flattered that somebody ASKED me this.  I hope I can give you something to think about.

For me the best way to meet people is to get involved.  This may seem like a no brainer to an extrovert,but much more painful for someone a bit more shy. 
When I first moved here and knew NOBODY I knew I had to sign up at church to do SOMETHING.  I felt AWFUL because I was newly pregnant and not doing well.  But I knew I had to DRAG myself out of my house and only then would I begin to meet people.

The first opportunity came in the form of Vacation Bible school.  I signed the kids up and I volunteered to help.  I told them I would do anything.  I knew I would meet other moms and maybe even help my kids make friends.  I did meet some people.  No major friend connection, but it was  start.
The next thing I did was volunteer to be a troop leader for my girls American Heritage Girls Club.  Getting to know the other moms who are leaders has helped me make lots of friends. 
Now..before you think I am crazy..I stopped here.  I felt like I got the ball rolling on meeting people and now I had to be patient. I knew I could not join and lead EVERYTHING just to make friends.

  Making friends takes time.  Being in situations and being open to the other people in the same situation will usually lead to meeting people, and if you are lucky making a friend.

When you have little kids it can be easier to meet people in some ways and more difficult in others.  Having little kids means you have more time to go on play dates and outings, so in that way you are more flexable.  But when you have only little kids it is hard to find other kids that you WANT your kids to play with. 
When Emily and Molly were little and we lived in San Diego I joined several moms 4.  I would go, meet people, get annoyed and never go back.  Then I would be bored and lonely and then give it another try.  I did this for 2 years.  Then one day I went to one of the moms groups and met a friend who I clicked with RIGHT away.  We were a match made in heaven.  And at that time in my life having just 1 friend was all I needed.

And these days, here in Virginia, I still have yet to make a REAL friend.  I have made lots of friends that are fun to run into and chat with...but that one friend who I laugh with, call when I am sad, plan to go out with...she is not here..not yet.  But I do pray for that to be in my life one day.

And before I sign are a few more thing that have worked in the past...
I start by talking to their kids...for example... at church I will see a little girl Emily's age.  She will be wearing a green coat.  I will say to her, "I love your coat!" I will turn to the mom and say, "Where did you guys get that coat?"  Sometimes this will lead to a conversation where I will say...."I just moved here and I have NO idea where to shop yet?"

Ok..cheezy I know...but really I have done this!! And I probably really liked the coat!!

Tip #3..or maybe this is #4....
Go to the COFFEE SOCIAL AT CHURCH!!  I am not always a fan of these venues because I usually have little people I am RUNNING after....but when I am up for it sticking around after church for the donut really is a good place to meet people.

Last tip
If you see  teenage girl that looks respectable ask her if her or her friends babysit.  This may lead to you meeting her mom and from there you may meet another mom...and worst comes to may have scored a babysitter and then you can go out with your real best friend for the night...

And all of this may seem HORRIFYING TO someone a bit more shy than myself.  So maybe just prayer and patience is what you need and trusting that God will give you the people in your life that are best for you .

Thanks for asking for my advice...that was fun!!


  1. I have just recently started popping in on your blog, coming over from Barbara's Praying for Grace blog. I just wanted to say thanks for this post. We've been away from "home" for four years now, in this current town for nearly two years, and the only people I know are two of my neighbors and my grandparents who live down the road.

    My husband's long commute makes for a late homecoming so it's really very hard for me to get involved, and I'm not the most out-going person in the world. But your words and suggestions are still encouraging that there is a chance to make a friend. And of course the reminder to pray about it...I certainly have not been doing enough of that for this particular intention.

    So anyway thanks for taking the time to write this out especially with an adorable newborn in your home! Congrats!

  2. Love the pictures of the boys! Brother love is so great!

    i'ved lived in my location for 5 years and have lots of acquaintances and 3 friends. True friends are hard to find as we get older, but all we need is 1 or 2 good ones:))

    Also, have you heard of Harvy Karp? His method for calming a newborn is amazing, and it works. His dvd is the "Happiest Baby On Earth." You gotta watch it! it's been 8 years since my last newborn so this was new info for me. Hope you're doing well.

  3. You are just so fun!! Those things definitely sound terrifying to me!

  4. Thank you so much for your thoughtful post! It is helpful to have some concrete suggestions.

    I'm glad you were flattered by my question. I'm just starting out on the whole marriage and family journey, and I really look up to other moms like you! Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

  5. Thanks very much for your large information .And knowledge full description . I think it is Sus a topic that many kinds of people face many problems. thanks for this.
    meeting people,