Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Gaining Weight

When I wake up in the morning my regular clothes fit me.  I can slip into my everyday skirts and be on my way...

 By lunch time I look 25 weeks pregnant..I am not...I am 12 weeks!!  I know this is part of the process but this is the part that I truly struggle with.  I will just say it out loud...I am not a big fan of the pregnancy weight gain.  Actually I am not a fan of any weight gain.  I really struggle in these first few months because the baby weights the same as a boiled peanut but yet I have packed on the size of a 10 lb. bag of boiled peanuts.
This is what happens to me when that stick turns pink...I gain 5 pounds RIGHT OFF THE BAT...not a moment is wasted.  I then struggle with myself thinking..."MMmm...would I have gained this weight if the stick did not turn pink...are you just getting lazy already?"  Then Pete always gives me the same speech...
"Lease...you are supposed to gain this weight!"...really...this quickly...where is the cute round baby belly that EVERY other MOM gets...why do I get pudge-a-mania???

I, like many women, have struggled with me loving ALL OF ME.  I work out a lot and always have, not because I am trying to attain any special level of fitness...I just like to eat and exercising is something I don't mind doing.  But during these first few weeks of pregnancy I feel like a sack of dead weight at the gym and find it difficult to want to be there.  And I usually stop running at 12 weeks because my boobs hurt so bad...2 sports bras or not.

Which brings me to this point and this post..
I want to change the voice in my head this time.  I want to be patient with myself and not feel "bad" for doing what I should be doing...
gaining pregnancy weight..(and maybe a few extra bowls of ice cream weight with it)
 It is hard to change that voice.  It is hard to be meeting people when I feel less than confident in my appearance.  I am not an altogether shallow person, I just put effort into my appearance and it is hard for me to feel outside of MY NORMAL!!
The one thing I always remind myself is whenever I am NOT pregnant I think all pregnant women look amazing..AMAZING!!
And maybe this time I can try the whole.."fake it till you make it concept" and try to look AMAZING too!!

No matter what happens between now and January the one thing I know for sure is I will gain weight..I will get a belly and I will be so grateful to do it.  Just some days I will struggle more than others and some days I will most defiantly be faking it!!

And I can not promise many photos of me and my belly...not as cute as you would think...but I will be working on that voice in my head !!

11 comments:

  1. You must learn to love that body that grows a baby! The whole thing (not that we have to eat a half gallon of ice cream every day). It's all part and parcel, sweetie. Love it all!

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  2. Pregnancy is the one thing that finally got me over my eating disorder. Focus on the baby and you'll be fine.

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  3. Ah, yes. My rear end somehow always knows that I'm pregnant before I do! That body of yours knows what's coming and is stocking up ready for the task ahead. You wouldn't set out on any other grand adventure without supplies would you? Those thighs know what they're doing. They've done it before. And, yes... you DO look gorgeous; every extra bit of you.

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  4. My doctor told me once ~ it takes nine months to get there and nine months to get back ~ so you really have an eighteen month reprieve from that "voice". You worked so hard to be pregnant ~ enjoy every minute of it, weight and all.

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  5. I hope this does not come off sounding mean..because this is said in Christian love....are you serious???

    I have been praying for you many monthes after your miscarriage...and I was over joyed when I found out you were pregnant again....

    and you are now worried about weight gain....God has blessed you again and you are now complaining that you don't feel beautiful??

    If I were you I would be showing pictures of myself praising God for this wonderful blessing He has given to me.....I would love to be pregnant, with sore breasts, morning sickness, and a beautiful belly...

    I can't believe you have to fake anything? You are blessed!!!! Praise the one that gave you this blessing!! Be proud and show off what He has given you...a new little one that you will hopefully hold and kiss....

    Many Blessings and prayers,

    Renee

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  6. Dear Renee,
    I am not sure if you will ever read this but I have to respond anyway. I think you misread my whole post. I said I struggle with the discomfort of worrying about gaining weight. I do not indulge myself in these feelings. It is something I would like to NOT have bother me..but I am who I am . I have thanked God for this baby every day since we found out. I wanted this pregnancy and baby so bad...and I am GRATEFUL for it...but being pregnant is hard for me. I am glad to go through whatever it takes to participate in making this baby but that does not mean that I don't find certain things more difficult than others. I think it is hard to grow out of my clothing, buy clothing that is temporary and be unable to do things physically because of my growing baby...I GLADLY do it...but I find it HARD...not all women do find these things difficult and I consider them especially blessed. But just because I am honest and say certain things are harder for me does not mean that I am any less thankful for this new life growing in me and that I would not do it all over..oh wait..I have done this over..about 9 times now and each time is as WONDEFULLY blessed as the last ..and each time is difficult as the last.
    Thanks for your comment and I hope you can see where I am coming form!
    Lisa

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  7. Lisa, I'm right there with you. I'm 15 weeks today, but by lunch I look 20 weeks! But as long as i'm exercising, and TRYING to eat good, I try not to let the weight gain bother me too much. it will come off. Just focus on that precious life inside of you.

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  8. I understand exactly where you are coming from Lisa!! (and I think you look great!!)

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  9. Lisa,

    I am trying to understand where you are coming from and I do know that you want a healthy baby. I guess I see it from a different angle. I have two beautiful daughters and I have prayed for many years for another child. I had very hard pregnancies morning sickness through-out and hard deliveries but I would go through it all again to kiss a sweet baby.

    I know everyone is different and you might struggle with weight gain but you have a platform here on your blog to not complain but to rejoice and I think you should because you have been given a blessing to carry a child that God has blessed you with and I see it as privilege. I understand (and see) that you have had many other children and you have given up your body for them. I guess I don't want you to take this moment for granted....

    Blessings and prayers,

    Renee

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  10. You are so much fun to follow and I am so happy for you and your family. You are brave to open up like you do and I know your words help others. Continued Blessings.

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  11. One of my favorite images of you is at your baby shower when you were pregnant with Emily. You were glowing with a gorgeous baby belly... and you were wearing 4 inch heals to top it all off! I know you are celebrating this baby and all that it entails, but some parts are hard, I agree. The good news is that you probably see yourself in a different way than the rest of us see you, because you always looks stunning!

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