Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Sad Outcome

I had my appointment yesterday and sadly there will be no October baby for the Melnick's.  The sac was empty and there was no little heart fluttering away.  There was nothing...I cried a good while.  I have tried looking on the bright side. But there is no bright side.  I saw this babies heart beating.  It was ours.  Now he goes back to God to join his 2 other siblings.
I am a sanguine personality type and if any of you know about temperaments that means I run from high to low,  back to high again pretty quickly.  Sanguines get sad, get a plan and move on.  And in this case I want a plan.  I want to know what happens next?  Will there be another baby? When?  Am I an old washed up woman ?(last question is a dramatic example of the thoughts that RACE through my brain).  This baby felt so right.  Such good timing.  Such good everything. And now I struggle to offer to God the "sacrifice of praise".

But praise Him I will.  He gave me these 9 souls.  Five of them are mine to see and hold everyday. Four are mine to meet later.
Lent is upon us..let the sacrificing begin....

24 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry...I know it's not much help, but I hope your temperament allows some sort of acceptance and plan, soon. What a sad beginning for your Lent :( I don't know you very well, but...hugs.

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  2. I'm so very sorry...Peace be with you...

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  3. Thankyou for having the courage to share so openly, what is a very painful deep sorrow.

    You are not old, or washed up, that much is obvious from all the beauty you create with your family...but I understand the feeling of doubting your body, especially as this is not new territory for you.

    Hugs and peace to you - may this season of Lent bring you deep healing and a closer connection with God in all the sadness.

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  4. i'm so sorry. I know you'll have a plan soon. It will all work out.

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  5. Our love and prayers are with you Lisa.

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  6. I am so very sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.
    I am very new to your blog. I am visiting today from last week's Yarn Along post at Small Things.
    My heart aches for you. I have lost six babies through miscarriage. I understand the depth of your pain.
    You have a beautiful family. May God bless you and keep you during this time of sorrow.

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  7. Praying for you! We have three siblings that we have yet to meet as well. I hope you have strength through this loss. We will pray for your family and that they help you through this with their sweet faces!

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  8. So sorry, Lisa. I hope you, Pete and the kids are doing okay. Hugs!

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  9. I'm sorry to hear that, Lisa! Sending prayers up for your family.

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  10. Lisa-I'm so sorry. I just read about this on another blog, you might find it comforting: http://rosaryofhealing.com/News_and_Events.html

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  11. Prayers for you, Lisa. Many heartfelt prayers.

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  12. Until I miscarried, I could not have imagined how much I could love a baby that wasn't even born yet... but the loss of a child is devastating, no matter when it happens. You've been in my prayers, and I'll keep it up.

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  13. My prayers are with you and your family. I am deeply sorry.

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  14. Dear Sweet Lisa, I'm so sorry for your dear baby.
    Regarding your plan, Rajmeesh said, "Be realistic, plan for a miracle." All Love, Katie xx

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  15. I'm so sorry, Lisa! My prayers will continue to be with you!

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  16. I'm am so very sorry for your loss! But, just looking at your pictures of your children you have so much to be thankful for, they are bright-eyed and beautiful! You are not all washed up, you have so much to look forward to seeing all your little ones grow and flourish! Your life is just beginning!!

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  17. Our prayers are with you.

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  18. I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers coming your way!

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  19. i am so sorry for your loss. praying for you.

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  20. I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks for the perspective you shared. I've been here too and it was comforting to me. God bless you!

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  21. I am SO sorry!! I have not read your posts lately and had no idea. I know your pain. It is difficult, and even though you have five beautiful and precious children growing and thriving, it does not take the pain away from losing a baby in your womb. It hurts and it is hard. But I know that God is good and He carries us through the trials and gives us His hope and futre. I lost my baby after having five children. It was hard. And then God blessed me more than I could have ever imagined with a special baby with a special extra chromosome!! He is such a gift to our whole family. He is silly and funny and the cutest baby ever. He melst us all daily. We cannot get enough of him. I am SO thankful to the Lord for him. I cannot imagine life without him. God is good, and He has good plans for us. The waiting was hard for him, but God was with me. I will be praying for you and for God to give you another beautiful baby that you will deliver and raise. Much love to you!

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