Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Regret..A Short Diary

When I was growing up I was not an ideal daughter.  I was not the worst of the worst...but I know I owe a lot of thanks to mom, and probably more apologies.

I was not the drinking and drug taking kind of bad, I was more like hang out with the wrong people and do whatever it takes to get attention bad.  The lie to my parents when I knew they would say no bad.

I would have to say it looks like so far I have turned things around for myself.  I can tell you the moment my life changed and I decided I wanted to be a better person...the day I decided I wanted to be Pete's wife.

Whenever I am talking to teenagers and tell them that I was not the most cooperative daughter and I did things to myself and to my parents that I deeply regret they will sometimes say, "Well, looks like you turned out OK....so no big deal, right?"
I would have to say WRONG!!  I have changed my life, and been very sorry for things in my past but you get one thing in life that does not go away no matter how sorry you are..
REGRET!!

Regret is a bitter thing.  It makes you ashamed of the person you were.  It makes you less confident of the person you are.  And even if you don't let regret take over your life...it is something that never leaves it.

When I was a teenager I had an uncle that was the family legend of a "bad kid".  He gave his parents a hard time, he made poor choices and by the time I came a long he was a completely different person.  He was a successful guy who had a lot going for him.

I remember thinking, "Well , life for him does not look so bad so what is everyone so fired up about if I make a few bad choices???  I can still pull it out...he did, right?"  But what a young niece never saw was the regret I am sure he still wore.
My mom's prayers and God's Grace is what turned things around for me.  I am so glad my mom prayed for me and I am so glad God listened.
Now that I am older and praying daily to grow wiser I see where I went wrong.  I see the reason for choosing some of things I choose.  I can't take anything I ever did back no matter how hard I wish I could.

I just want my girls to know that regret is a constant companion and it does change who you are.

 I was blessed this week to receive an e-mail from a young woman and she made my day when she started her note with, "You inspire me"...me??  I am honored.  I feel so grateful to God that He has allowed me to become a woman that can inspire a young girl.  I hope to inspire my own daughters one day.
I hope I never let that feeling of regret grow to far from my memory.   I hope I always keep in mind that you can never go back and change what went wrong.  I never want to live with more regret.  I would much rather inspire.

So, bottom line is..I did turn out OK!!!  But I can't help but imagine how much better things could have been if I just listened to my mom a little more....

asked for God's direction more, thought through things more?

The moral of this story...Mom's Prayers Do Matter and that is what inspires me now!!

3 comments:

  1. Hey Lisa! I think you are a great Mom and I think that's part of growing up! I am sure everyone can say they did things to upset their parents....our lives are a constant work in progress! The good thing is that you changed it around... I doubt you were ever really bad though!!! Looks like your children have wonderful role models in their lives! Beautiful pictures by the way! xoxo

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  2. Well said Lisa, I am sure that not a single person lives without some regret. Your parents did plenty of things right because you are a beautiful person and you inspire a lot of people!! Parenting is HARD girl and every day I pray for strength and hope that I am not screwing up my kids lives! I think that love goes a long way though and it looks like you and Pete have tons of that to go around! Don't be too hard on yourself you're great!

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  3. Hey Lisa, I must say that I love reading your blogs, but what is this "hang out with the wrong people..." business... Just kidding with you. Love seeing the kids and all of the fun. I know that you are an excellent and very fun Mom!
    Tracy P

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